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Any other post college 20 somethings live at home?? *long*

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05-12-2009, 10:19 AM
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Power2ThePenguins
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Any other post college 20 somethings live at home?? *long*

I graduated college last year and living at home has been quite the struggle for me from time to time. Lately, I feel like my mom hates me and I just don't know how to cope with it. I've felt for years that she favors my younger siblings and older sister and just kind of hates me...but now it's coming full circle it seems.

She likes to rip on the way I look constantly. She complains that my drawers aren't as neat and that some of my clothes are wrinkled. My dresser drawer is for around the house/going out for pizza/wear under hockey jersey kind of things that I am not pulling out to wear to work. All my work clothes are in my closet and not rumpled in balls...in fact I think my work attire is in damn good condition. If something has a hole or a stain, I don't wear it to work or get rid of it. Hell even with my casual clothes, I'm anal get mad later if I find out I accidentally go out in something with a stain. (Sometimes I miss it from time to time.) She's also criticized me for wearing the wrong size bra and claims she knows I am just by looking at me and says there's no way I wear the size I do. She has also said that when I come out of work from time to time, she just scoffs or cringes at the way I look...and she has also talked about the other girls from time to time and how practically perfect they look.

She also kinda tells me how to spend my money. This morning, she told me I cannot buy anymore shoes? First of all, I earn my money and she has not bought me any clothes in I cannot tell you how long...pretty much everything in my wardrobe I pay for myself. She has decided that since my bedroom/closet is not big enough, that I cannot have anymore stuff and I buy too much of it. The problem is I wear a lot of the stuff I have frequently and am not going to give up anything I like and wear a lot just because she doesn't want to look at it. I just cleaned out my closets/drawers a little bit ago and got rid of two bags worth of stuff...and apparently she's STILL not happy. I do have the smallest bedroom in the house, but she refuses to let me switch. Meanwhile, she allows my younger sister who wil now only be home on breaks from college, to have a very spacious attic bedroom (which may I add, she keeps a pigsty) with A LOT of closet space and my brother has a fairly big room as well. I have asked to switch bedrooms, but my mom will not even be open to the suggestion of talking to my siblings about the possibility.

Lastly, she rips me for not being helpful around the house while my younger siblings get a free pass in this area. Right after dinner, my brother and sister (when she's home) are allowed to just drop their plates in the sink then run off to do whatever they want. I'm expected to help in cleaning the whole kitchen. I get the same treatment with walking our three dogs. Everytime the dogs need to be helped, I am asked to help and my younger siblings pretty much never have to. When I brought this up to my mom...I said why do I have to do everything when (sister and brother) get off free, she said it's because I am an adult and they do not have paying jobs. Well, they live here too so why do they get to have total freedom while I'm constantly being treated like a slave? My younger sister has showed no effort in looking for a job, and while she's at college, my mom has given her money for going out, her sorority, her books, and everything else imaginable. I worked while I was in college and wasn't calling home begging Mommy and Daddy for money every week. My parents were also footed with an ambulance and ER bill in my sister's first week of college because she got irresponsible with drinking and playing beer pong and passed out in her dorm bathroom. I never had this happen to me in college since I do not drink that much and have never drank to the point of passing out and having to be taken to the ER.

Oh and I kid you not about that incident: when my mom found out about it, she was desperate to keep my dad from finding out. My parents are divorced and my dad is way more critical of things than my mom is. She was all about making sure my sister did not get insulted by Daddy. Bull****; she's irresponsible make her face the consequences. Instead it's not a big deal that she passed out from not controlling her alcohol use and drank underage (and continues to do so), and she can join a sorority with expensive fees when she does not have a job and no concept of how to save money...but it's OK b/c Mommy will pay for it. After working 4-5 days a week in college, paying for my own fraternity dues (yeah I'm a girl but it was co-ed), buying my own food and living supplies if I wasn't going home anytime soon...this pisses me off to no end about my sister.

I do not get the unfair treatment and I desperately want to move out. But I bring home less than $700 every two weeks and my mom wants $120 of that from me in "rent". Once I get my debt paid off, which I am working on as my New Year's Resolution...I think that will help me. Unless of course, any of you have advice on how to save money to move on such pity pay.

My physical age says I'm an adult, yet mentally and emotionally, I know I am not one. I'm just so overwhelmed with all the pressures of having to look a certain way, having to have an almost perfect performance standard at work...plus I don't really have a strong social circle. That's another thread though. My mom is barely helping me, but instead I feel I am not good enough for her. I think I got sold too much on the idea that life after college is smooth sailing and everything will just come together, but it's not working that way.

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05-12-2009, 10:37 AM
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::Raises Hand::

I graduated from college 2 years ago, have a job, and still can't afford to move out. That's the only thing keeping me back. I'm 23 years old, and my mom still tries to keep tabs on me when I go out on a work night. It's beyond frustrating, especially since my dad could give two *****. Once my school loans stop ****** me up the ass every month, I'm out.

Edit: I also deal with the perfect older brother thing. He had straight A's all throughout school and he's a momma's boy to boot. I got the whole "Why don't you do this or that like your brother?" ********, and I still get it sometimes. The only thing that saves me from being the disappointment in the family is my oldest brother who is 33, still lives at home, and never finished school. Oh and also, the whole work thing sucks for me too. My dad's best friend got me my job, and ended up being my boss. So let me tell you how some ***** almost got me fired a few months ago, and I had to go home and deal with my dad flipping the **** out on me, cause that's real professional telling my dad business stuff and everything. Plus if I don't go in one day, it's the ****ing end of the world. Trust me, when I move out, I'm moving out of state and getting another job. I can't keep dealing my parents keeping tabs everywhere I go.


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05-12-2009, 10:49 AM
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Thanks Kambo. I have loans too and am paying $250 a month on those. But my mom won't give me a break on her ridiculous "rent" even with that.

I also forgot to add that she STILL cleans my younger sister's room for her before my sister comes home for breaks. Like she is coming home for the summer tomorrow and my mom was up there on her hands and knees cleaning that pigsty. My sister is 19. And then she has the nerve to talk about me keeping a messy room...

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05-12-2009, 10:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PensRoadTrippin36 View Post
Thanks Kambo. I have loans too and am paying $250 a month on those. But my mom won't give me a break on her ridiculous "rent" even with that.

I also forgot to add that she STILL cleans my younger sister's room for her before my sister comes home for breaks. Like she is coming home for the summer tomorrow and my mom was up there on her hands and knees cleaning that pigsty. My sister is 19. And then she has the nerve to talk about me keeping a messy room...
I can at least be thankful my parents don't charge me rent. They know I'm paying my loans, a car bill plus insurance, and a phone bill, so they don't make me pay for living at home. Although, my mom for whatever reason always thinks I'm broke. I guess it's because I don't let her balance my checkbook like my 25 year old brother does. And no worries about the room problem. No matter how often I clean mine, or get all my clothes put away, I still have to hear **** about it. It doesn't help that I also have the smallest room in the house. I just tell my mom, if it bothers you, don't look. I'm the one that has to sleep in there.

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05-12-2009, 11:02 AM
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I live at home, but I don't have a problem with it. I get along with my parents, and I'm going to grad school this Fall so it's not a long term thing. Can't beat the price, plus my mom cooks way better than I ever could hope to.

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05-12-2009, 11:05 AM
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Oh yeah, and being that we're all hardcore hockey fans here...I thought I'd throw out this point. My mom who is also a Pens fan apparently has a problem with the fact that I like hockey a bit more than she does. I've chosen to start a jersey collection...she criticizes it constantly even though I use MY money and look for the best deals possible. I go to road games; she scoffs at it and thinks I am just a puckbunny who wants to "follow" the players around wherever they go. When I mentioned to her I was thinking of getting involved in the Baby Pens Booster Club next year...like in sitting at their table at the games to sell raffle tickets or hand out game programs at the door, she went off about why she hates the Booster Club and doesn't want me joining it.

She has told me I have no life outside hockey and talks about how she does and she has other things to do and I need to change that. Look when I don't have kids or a husband I have to answer to or anything...why can't I just pursue interests on my terms? I think I'm just gonna stop telling her what I would like to do with myself because she has a problem with everything.

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05-12-2009, 11:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PensRoadTrippin36 View Post
Oh yeah, and being that we're all hardcore hockey fans here...I thought I'd throw out this point. My mom who is also a Pens fan apparently has a problem with the fact that I like hockey a bit more than she does. I've chosen to start a jersey collection...she criticizes it constantly even though I use MY money and look for the best deals possible. I go to road games; she scoffs at it and thinks I am just a puckbunny who wants to "follow" the players around wherever they go. When I mentioned to her I was thinking of getting involved in the Baby Pens Booster Club next year...like in sitting at their table at the games to sell raffle tickets or hand out game programs at the door, she went off about why she hates the Booster Club and doesn't want me joining it.

She has told me I have no life outside hockey and talks about how she does and she has other things to do and I need to change that. Look when I don't have kids or a husband I have to answer to or anything...why can't I just pursue interests on my terms? I think I'm just gonna stop telling her what I would like to do with myself because she has a problem with everything.
Damn. I had Flyers season tickets this year and my mom was trying to get me to find out where to go after the games so I could marry a rich husband. She doesn't really necessarily mind the whole hockey/ sport thing with me, except for the road games thing. I went to a Flyers/ Devils game in North Jersey at the beginning of this season, and she told me I was being ridiculous with my money.

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05-12-2009, 11:18 AM
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My dad wanted me to marry Marc Andre Fleury, but I hate Fleury.

Hey as long as you had the money...I wouldn't have seen the problem with it. That's the way I look at it. If it's my money and all my bills are getting paid and what not, there's nothing wrong with some leisure. I went to Pittsburgh this year for the first time..funny how she didn't object to me throwing down $400 on that.

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05-12-2009, 11:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PensRoadTrippin36 View Post
My dad wanted me to marry Marc Andre Fleury, but I hate Fleury.

Hey as long as you had the money...I wouldn't have seen the problem with it. That's the way I look at it. If it's my money and all my bills are getting paid and what not, there's nothing wrong with some leisure. I went to Pittsburgh this year for the first time..funny how she didn't object to me throwing down $400 on that.
Apparently a friend of my dad's has a son who looks like Jeff Carter that they were trying to set me up with. My dad asked me if I thought Carter was cute and I said he was ok, but blondes really aren't my thing. I'd much prefer Mike Richards hahah.
But yeah that's the thing with money that my mom doesn't understand. That's why I never let her balance my checkbook, and at no point does she ever know how much money I have on me. I know how to spread everything out accordingly, so that all my bills get paid, and if i want to take a trip somewhere, I'll go. The other thing that's really weird though, is she's fine with my roadtrips just as long as it's my guy friends that are coming with me. I have mostly guy friends since I hate girls, but I still have my handful of girl friends, and she's never liked them. Half the time I'll lie to her and say I'm going with my guy friends just so I don't have to hear it from her. But really, what parents would rather their daughter go on a trip with a bunch of dudes than go somewhere with girls?

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