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Rozsival+Dubinsky+2nd @ Carolina Hurricanes | 12/21/09 | 7:00PM | FS-CR(HD)

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Old
12-20-2009, 04:09 PM
  #1
impeach estaalo
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Rozsival+Dubinsky+2nd @ Carolina Hurricanes | 12/21/09 | 7:00PM | FS-CR(HD)



ROZSIVAL+DUBINSKY+2ND (34-0-1) vs. CAROLINA HURRICANES (9-20-6)

December 21st, 2009 | 7:00PM | Raleigh, NC | Brandon Dubinsky Entertainment & Sports Arena

Quote:
Are you really serious? You mean that if Washington offer OV for Dubinsky, Callahan, Rozsival, Gilroy and Sanguinetti..you wouldn't take it?

Or if Pittsburgh offered Crosby?

If I was the Rangers, I'd make that trade in a heartbeat.
Quote:
You have zero understanding of anything hockey related, if you would honestly trade all those players, for an AO or Crosby.

Especially in the Salary cap world, where finding NHL caliber players that can contribute at a bargain, is vital. Look at Carolina, for example. Remove a chunk of that team, and insert any superstar. Odds are, they fall short because of their lack of depth.

I think I'm done with you...

I'll respond to people who have a better understanding of the game, because you're talking out of your ass.

ROZSIVAL+DUBINSKY+2ND

Forwards
Left WingCenter Right Wing
Brandon Dubinsky Brandon Dubinsky Brandon Dubinsky
Brandon Dubinsky Brandon Dubinsky Brandon Dubinsky
Brandon Dubinsky Brandon DubinskyBrandon Dubinsky
Brandon Dubinsky Brandon Dubinsky Brandon Dubinsky

Defense

Left Right
Michal Rozsival Michal Rozsival
Michal Rozsival Michal Rozsival
Michal Rozsival Michal Rozsival

Goalies
Expected Starter Backup
2nd Round Pick Conditional 7th in 2011

Injuries/Scratches/Suspensions

PlayerReason Status
Ryan Callahan suspended suspended ten games for being too awesome

Team Leaders
W 2nd Round Pick 29
GAA 2nd Round Pick .62
SV% Conditional 7th in 2011 .981
SO 2nd Round Pick 22
G Dubinsky 94
A Dubinsky 58
PTSDubinsky152
+/- Rozsival +93
PIM Rozsival 4
ATOI Dubinsky 60:33


Players to Watch


BRANDON DUBINSKY, C
Brandon Dubinsky is one of America's great hockey stars. He displays the core attributes that makes him one of hockey's finest.


MICHAL ROZSIVAL, D
Before becoming Rozsival+Dubinsky+2nd, the team was named The Jaromir Jagr Country Club and Beauty Salon. As player/captain/coach, Jagr played favorites with his Czech buddies, which allowed Rozsival to inflate his stats with absurd amounts of powerplay time and receive an equally absurd contract. Glen Sather believed Rozsival to be a top-pairing defenseman, which is sort of like believing that Petr Prucha is a 30-goal scorer or that Marek Malik should be employed as a professional hockey player. Now receiving just over a minute of powerplay time per game, Rozsival is on pace for a 20 point season and is regularly thrown into trade proposals for vastly superior players by his team's fans. He'll probably score in this game, but that will be an indication of Carolina's crush on Taylor Hall and not of Rozsival's massive talent.



CAROLINA HURRICANES
Forwards
Left WingCenter Right Wing
Ryan Whitney Erik Stall Tuumu Ruuuttoo
Jukinen YEAH MATT CULLEN Patty Dwyer
Sergei Samsonov Rich Peverley Nonstopoulos
Fearless Captain Brindy Yeller Walks

Defense
Left Right
Joanna Pitkennin Bert Carson
Alby Bry-Rods
Jay-Har Gritty Veteran AWardo

Goalies
Expected Starter Backup
Camwardo Manual Legacy

Injuries/Scratches/Suspensions

PlayerReason Status
Jose Cuervo injured out 2-3 months (lacerated leg)
Eric Cole injured out 2-3 weeks (lower body)
Secreet Weapone injured questionable (upper body)
Timmy Gleeson injured questionable (facial lacerations/concussion-like symptons)
Chad LaRose injured who cares
Anson Carter healthy LOL ANSON CARTER

Team Leaders

W Camwardo/Legacy 4
GAA Legacy 3.09
SV% Legacy .899
SO nobody ROFL 0
G Whitney 10
A Pitkennin 15
PTS Whitney 24
+/- Dwyer +2
Golf Score Brindy -19
PIM Gleeson 51
ATOI Pitkennin 26:12


Players to Watch


JOANNA PITKENNIN, D
Joanna Pitkennin shocked the hockey world in 2008 when he retired in order to pursue a career as a contestant on "Dancing With The Stars". Having returned to the Hurricanes after quitting the reality TV series due to a broken nail, Joanna leads the team in assists with 15 despite playing only 26 games, though those are almost certainly all phantom secondary assists that he had nothing to do with. My sources tell me that Pitkennin and a 2nd are headed to Toronto in exchange for Gritty Veteran Wayne Primeau (E3).


GRITTY VETERAN AWARDO, D
Gritty Veteran AWardo is the polar opposite of Pitkennin. That means that Ward hits people, but also means that he can't skate, pass, handle the puck, shoot or play defense. As his on-ice wheelchair is motorized and controlled via remote control by Fearless Captain Brindy on the bench, Ward can effectively use both hands in order to take bad penalties and pointlessly shove opposing forwards while paying no attention to the puck. Ward has taken an amazing one total shot on goal in the last eleven games and boasts a splendid -16 rating, which shows he is fully on board with the Tank for Hall gameplan.

Q: Doesn't Brindy controlling AWardo's wheelchair with a remote control pose a problem when they are on the ice together?
A: Yes...but that's the point, right?

Q: Are you saying we are tanking? Oh, god no! This fanbase (me in particular because I'm STHer and pay good money for my seats!) can't withstand a losing season! We need to try our best to make the playoffs, because winning a bunch of meaningless games to vault us into ninth place is better for the franchise than getting a potential franchise player with the 1st overall. I know we are nine points out of 29th place, but we owe it to Fearless Captain Brindy and Gritty Veteran AWardo to make a run at the Cup.
A:


CAROLINA HURRICANES SEASON IN REVIEW


A musical representation of a typical Carolina Hurricanes game.


AWardo has led the charge for Hall.


The Hurricanes have learned to perfect the art of the Epic Third Period Collapse™ in case they accidentally have a lead.


Fearless Captain Brindy filmed a promo spot for the Department of Unintentional Hilarity.

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Old
12-20-2009, 04:12 PM
  #2
LouisJCloutier
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hahaha best GDT ever

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Old
12-20-2009, 04:14 PM
  #3
Gotta Catch Em Staal
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GDT of the year nominee.

__________________
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Old
12-20-2009, 04:20 PM
  #4
imayagainknowanson
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Awesome.

I can't stop laughing hahaha.

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Old
12-20-2009, 04:37 PM
  #5
impeach estaalo
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I recommend watching the "Gritty Veteran Aaron Ward AKA Taylor Hall's Biggest Fan" video. It was a legendary shift that we will surely look back on fondly if we get Hall. I appropriately provided Aaron Ward with quote bubbles to capture the mood.

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Old
12-20-2009, 04:46 PM
  #6
cptjeff
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Great day before the game thread.

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Old
12-20-2009, 04:49 PM
  #7
DaveG
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lol, Rozsival sucks, 92 over par. At least Dwyer can keep things competitive although he sucks in comparison to Fearless Captain Brindy and Gritty Veteran AWardo. I mean those two are right on par with Retief Goosen in terms of badassery.

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Old
12-20-2009, 04:55 PM
  #8
Discipline Daddy
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Yeah - that was one of the most incredible GDTs I've ever seen. Great work!

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Old
12-20-2009, 05:26 PM
  #9
vwg*
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lulz, you forgot the metrosexual Sean Avery plays for the Rangers when he's not on the road modeling. Since it's the Christmas season he will be playing tomorrow

Dubinsky - Dubinsky - Dubinsky
Dubinsky - Dubinsky - Dubinsky
Avery - Dubinsky - Dubinsky
Dubinsky - Dubinsky - Dubinsky

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Old
12-20-2009, 06:08 PM
  #10
dmonk
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this is great...

can we have a 3 goal lead third period collapse tomorrow with AWardo being in the box for the first goal, assisting Dubinsky on second, and killing penalty and assisting Dubinsky on third to tie?

The 4th game winning Rangers goal will be all Cam Ward. He'll skate behind the net trying to play the puck, hits AWardo skate in front of the goal and deflects the puck into the net.

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Old
12-20-2009, 07:00 PM
  #11
Old Uncle
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Awesome GDT - totally on the money!
Isn't it bad luck to start a GDT before the day of the game?
Oh..... right.

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Old
12-20-2009, 07:08 PM
  #12
Corto
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ROFL awesome GDT guys!

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Old
12-20-2009, 07:24 PM
  #13
NobodysFaulkButMine
You jelly, Staal?
 
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Anson Carter gets a hat trick, book it.

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Old
12-20-2009, 07:30 PM
  #14
Loffen
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Dubinsky for E.Staal... Done Deal?

Awesome GDT guys. I lol'd.

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Old
12-20-2009, 08:46 PM
  #15
caniac247
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Best game thread yet


Rodney was sent back to Albany, so i'm guessing one of Timmy or Wallin is back.

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Old
12-20-2009, 09:52 PM
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Vagrant
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Sans picture this time:

WHAT UP JR I BROUGHT DIZ STICK FROM COMPOSITES!

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Old
12-20-2009, 10:12 PM
  #17
geehaad
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vagrant View Post
WHAT UP JR I BROUGHT DIZ STICK FROM COMPOSITES!
Apparently it was the word "DIZ" that didz ya in...

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Old
12-21-2009, 12:49 AM
  #18
ncsu1
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ahahahahahaha

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Old
12-21-2009, 01:53 AM
  #19
impeach estaalo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vagrant View Post
Sans picture this time:

WHAT UP JR I BROUGHT DIZ STICK FROM COMPOSITES!

Here's a little bit of old school for ya,
That goes a little something like this...

I always tried to be the flyest kid in the block
The popular one with the rising stock
So that's when I had this bright idea
(Throw the party of the month)
No, the party of the year

All the fine girls couldn't turn it down
Now all I gotta do is get my parents out
Should I send them to a movie
(No, send them to a show)
Let me think, hmmm
It's gotta be long though

I said Mom, Dad, yo why ya sittin home
It's a Friday night, have you seen Aunt Joan
And don't worry about stayin' out too long
Don't fuss over me, I'll be fine alone

Have a good time...

The door bell rings cuz the party's here
I'm crankin' up the stereo like it's New Years
Walkin' 'round the house like who's Da Man
(Nobody can do it like Aaron can)

First on the floor, you know that's me
Bustin' out the moves like it's MTV
I'm guessin' where I'm goin' cuz I lost my head
Then I jumped on table, this is what I said

People all around you gotta
(Come get it)
Everyone together sing it loud
(Come get it)
Jump all around, come on
(Come get it)
What...
(Come get it)
Say it again
(Come get it)

People all around you gotta
(Come get it)
From the left to the right, make noise
(Come get it)
Here we go now, come on
Uh uh what what

Na na na na... Na na na na...

Things are goin' great
Then to my surprise
Some people walked in, I didn't recognize
I said fellows, yo, ya gotta get out

(Hey man I heard this was an open house)
Open house?
(Yeah that's what the flyers said)
Well I didn't put out flyers
(Well somebody did)

Then walked in
The girl I'm crushin'
And the kid spilled juice
On my Mom's new cushion

I turned around and
Another kid broke the lamp
(I hope they weren't expensive)
They got them from France
For now I won't sweat it
I'll clean it up later
There's a honey over there
And I really wanna meet her

People all around you gotta
(come get it)
Everyone together sing it loud
(come get it)
Jump all around come on
(come get it)
What?
(come get it)
Say it again here we go, uh
(come get it)

People all around you gotta
(come get it)
From the left to the right, make noise
(come get it)
Here we go now, come on
Uh uh what what

Aaron C's in the house, here we go
Come with it

Break it down
(go go go go go...)

Is that a car door
Oh dang, I'm in trouble
Everybody get out now
On the double
I'm dead (your done) that's it for me
I'm gonna be picked off my family tree

Once Mom finds out 'bout this party I had
I don't wanna even start thinkin' about dad
I'm hustlin around the house
Trying to clean up the mess
I sure put my new white Nikes to the test

The car door slammed
And they're walking up the steps
I guess life is good with 10 seconds left
(AARON!!!???!!!)

Grounded

Aaron C's in the house, come on
(come get it)
Uh uh what what

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Old
12-21-2009, 02:06 AM
  #20
Vagrant
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I'm pretty sure this is game of the year right now already.

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Old
12-21-2009, 02:15 AM
  #21
WhiteTrashAmerican
WHY DID IT END
 
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We have already won.

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Old
12-21-2009, 06:20 AM
  #22
AlwaysARanger
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hilarious GDT

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Old
12-21-2009, 06:50 AM
  #23
Tender Rip
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GloveSave View Post
We have already won.
Seconded!

Awesome GDT!

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Old
12-21-2009, 07:01 AM
  #24
Boom Boom Anton
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Love the GDT! And the first time I was ever quoted in a GDT (even if I was the one accused of talking out of my ass).

One thing though.

It's Staal ...Being a Rangers fan you think you would know that with his brother playing there

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Old
12-21-2009, 09:04 AM
  #25
Anton Bubdobin
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Brilliant stuff! Thanks for that Monday morning treat.

Brindy needs a few more eagles on that golf score.

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