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Old
01-14-2010, 02:30 PM
  #26
Mowzie
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Three guys walk into a bar.

They never paid their bill.

The end.

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Old
01-14-2010, 02:49 PM
  #27
Live Breathe Hockey
 
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There were 3 guys drinking at a local pub, Dion, Henrik, and Sam. They came across a magic genie and they all got to make 1 wish.

Dion wished that all the Calgary fans would be back in Calgary flaming on the Flames to try and win their second cup, so the genie granted his wish and all the flamers were back in calgary.

Henrik wished that all the Canuck fans across edmonton would go back to Vancouver to cry with the rest of the city about how they've never won a cup ever and have nothing to show for their entire franchise existence other than Pavel Bure, so the genie granted the wish and all the Canuck fans are back in Vancouver.

So the genie turns to Sam, asks him for his wish, Sam turns to the genie and says, so you're to tell me that all the Flamers and Canuck fans are out of edmonton?

The genie replies, why yes... Sam wishes for a coke




tried to emulate this after another joke i'm sure many of you have heard before

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Old
01-14-2010, 03:34 PM
  #28
Grantimus
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Originally Posted by Arcane View Post
Winner
Chicken Dinner

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Old
01-14-2010, 03:47 PM
  #29
Dabomb
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Why did Ethan Moreau cross the road?

To take a stupid hooking penalty

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Old
01-14-2010, 03:58 PM
  #30
Petro Points
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dabomb View Post
Why did Ethan Moreau cross the road?

To take a stupid hooking penalty
I thought he got a cross-checking penalty for that...



Fugu needs Halls
F4H ?

edit: O that clearing throat was not for me.. i deleted my hooking penalty line for no reason


Last edited by Petro Points: 01-14-2010 at 04:05 PM.
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Old
01-14-2010, 04:01 PM
  #31
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*clears throat*

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Old
01-14-2010, 04:02 PM
  #32
Eytinge
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And he's gone!

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Old
01-14-2010, 04:04 PM
  #33
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And he's gone!
He's still here. Just someone "pretending" to be new.

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Old
01-14-2010, 04:06 PM
  #34
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Gonna miss that guy.

He was kinda cute

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Old
01-14-2010, 04:10 PM
  #35
Reimer
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mowzie View Post
Three guys walk into a bar.
Triple ouch.

I'm assuming it was Souray, Cogs and Moreau after the photo shoot though right?

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Old
01-14-2010, 04:23 PM
  #36
Mr.Prez
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We need to save this topic, stat!


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Old
01-14-2010, 07:19 PM
  #37
oXo Cube
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Chicken Dinner


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Old
01-14-2010, 07:49 PM
  #38
nabob
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Whats the difference between the Calgary Flames and a bra?

While making fun of the Oilers is good and all nothing beats mocking Calgary for me.

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Old
01-14-2010, 07:51 PM
  #39
Narnia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nabob View Post
Whats the difference between the Calgary Flames and a bra?

While making fun of the Oilers is good and all nothing beats mocking Calgary for me.
I got a better one. What do a Tetley tea bag and the Calgary Flames have in common?

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Old
01-14-2010, 07:54 PM
  #40
nabob
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I got a better one. What do a Tetley tea bag and the Calgary Flames have in common?
The Dion likes a good tea bagging??

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Old
01-14-2010, 07:56 PM
  #41
Narnia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nabob View Post
The Dion likes a good tea bagging??
Nope. Both are good for one cup.

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Old
01-14-2010, 08:32 PM
  #42
Giant Moo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nabob View Post
The Dion likes a good tea bagging??
Descent.

The highest form of patriotic.

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Old
01-14-2010, 08:37 PM
  #43
AK Dandyman
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nabob View Post
The Dion likes a good tea bagging??
AHAHAHAHAHA!

Thanks for the laugh!

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Old
01-15-2010, 10:31 AM
  #44
Mr.Prez
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nabob View Post
The Dion likes a good tea bagging??
doesn't The Dion need balls for that?

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Old
01-15-2010, 04:08 PM
  #45
Reimer
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Prez View Post
doesn't The Dion need balls for that?
Nope not if Conroy is dipping them into Dion's mouth. Or Elisha for that matter.

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Old
01-19-2010, 10:44 AM
  #46
judge301
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Beating......

ALBERTA Judge makes unprecedented ruling....

EDMONTON, ALBERTA (CP) -A seven-year-old Edmonton boy was at the center of an Edmonton city courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy alleged they had also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Edmonton Oilers, whom the boy and judge both firmly believe are not capable of beating anyone.

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Old
01-19-2010, 10:47 AM
  #47
Reimer
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^^^

I just heard this joke the other day from my brother. Totally saw the punch line after the first two sentences.

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Old
01-19-2010, 11:02 AM
  #48
oilersnyc
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Quote:
Originally Posted by judge301 View Post
ALBERTA Judge makes unprecedented ruling....

EDMONTON, ALBERTA (CP) -A seven-year-old Edmonton boy was at the center of an Edmonton city courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy alleged they had also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Edmonton Oilers, whom the boy and judge both firmly believe are not capable of beating anyone.
lol - nice
Posted via Mobile Device

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Old
01-19-2010, 02:15 PM
  #49
Giant Moo
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I guess Al Gore's cameo on 30 Rock has had an impact -- recycling jokes has really caught on.

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Old
01-19-2010, 02:17 PM
  #50
Reimer
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Giant Moo View Post
I guess Al Gore's cameo on 30 Rock has had an impact -- recycling jokes has really caught on.
Recycling jokes is the only reason jokes exist. One person creates it and then it gets recycled around the world.

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