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Tampa Bay Lightning Bulletin Board Glossary
(May contain nuts)
:E "Smiley" used to indicate Eric Perrin (aka "Snaggle"). --Bolthed
Balls as big as a house: Refers to Dudley's description of 3rd round pick Alex Kharitonov (aka Alex Kharit-on/off) and his uncommon willingness to play in traffic despite being a small guy. If he meant a monopoly house, he was right. --Oceanic39
Bill the Cat: When the cameras zoom in on Nik Khabibulin's signature facial tics, it's often said they "caught him in full Bill the Cat." --joeminus
Blacksheep Line: The Roy/Svitov/Keefe preseason line of 2002-'03. --Petec1978
Captain Poke Check: Lightning associate coach Craig Ramsay, who preaches a, ahem, less-than-physical style of defense. --Bolthed
Cheeto-encrusted thumb: What Lightning GM Jay Feaster (aka Cheeto Jay) sits on when he should be working to improve the team. --Petec1978
CPR Line: The surprisingly productive Clymer-Prospal-Richards line used after the All-Star break in 2001-'02 when Modin and St. Louis were injured.
The Constrictor: Lightning tough-guy Chris Dingman, whose "fights" invariably turn into hug-fests.
Dimensional Speed: Refers to fast players from the Dudley era, such as Jimmie Olvestad and/or Brian Holzinger. They're not fast, they have "dimensional speed." --Oceanic39
Dirt Line: The Lightning checking line composed of Tim Taylor and Dave Andreychuk, usually with Chris Dingman. So named because they're "older than dirt, and slower than dirt." --Oceanic39
Dmitry Afghanistan: On-air blooper by former Bolt centerman Brian Bradley when referring to current Bolt winger Dmitry Afanasenkov during a Tampa-Montreal playoff series pre-game show. --exterminator-x
Dollar Bill: The older-than-Lord Stanley owner of the Tampa Bay Lightning, Bill Davidson. An object of great scorn, a particularly sore spot for Bolts fans since he generally ignores his team or makes disparaging remarks about the city of Tampa from his castle in Detroit. Also owns the NBA Pistons. --Bolthed
Fairy: Former Lightning winger Mike Johnson. --Petec1978
Fear Dan Boyle: What happens to hapless opponents when Danny Boy gets on the scoresheet. --Petec1978
Fishwrap Forum: The St. Pete Times Forum, formerly known as the Ice Palace. Some fans still refer to the building as the Palace. --Bolthed
Fonzie: Coach John Tortorella. Just look at his face. --Bolthed
FSU Line: It stands for Former Soviet Union; the Fedotenko/Svitov/Alexeev line of 2002-'03. --Petec1978
Going Jack Todd: (or "to pull a Jack Todd"); shirking one's defensive responsibilities, just as the obnoxious, elitist Montreal Gazette "journalist" (and we use the term very loosely) avoided his military duty. --Petecl1978
HFL: It stands for Hershey Foods Lawyer; GM Jay Feaster (See also: orange Cheeto crumb encrusted thumb) --Petec1978
Human Nerf Dart: Former Lightning forward Ryan Johnson, who launched himself at opponents and bounced right off. --Petec1978
JV board: The official Lighting BB, where youngsters and mental midgets gather to flaunt their lack of hockey insight.
K-Wey: An unmentionable hockey fan/know-it-all who claims to root for about 15 of his favorite adopted NHL teams since there is no real hockey in Iowa. Don't get too close, but do pity the San Jose fans who must put up with him. Example of how his name can be used in a sentence: Go A-wey! --Bolthed
Keefamania: What happens when Sheldon Keefe's legions of unstoppable fans, growing by the day, take to the streets and break stuff in honor of their feisty little hero. Still waiting for it to run amok in any pro playoff series. --Petec1978
Kick 'Em Dog: Someone who follows a poster around the Internet nitpicking their posts --Petec1978
Leisure Vest: Former Lightning coach Steve Ludzik.
LightningNation: Referring to a sect of less knowledgable Lightning fans once known mainly for booing Pavel Kubina every time he touched the puck. --Bolthed
Lost Parents: Mentally challenged poster originally known as The Wall and then as Los Pared ("The Wall" in broken Spanish).
Luongominiums: What Panthers goaltender Roberto Luongo wears on his legs. --Bolthed (inspired by Brad Richards)
Littley Ricky: Former Lightning GM Rick Dudley, who was fired. --Petec1978
MO-DOMETER (tm): Instrument that displays Freddy Modin's current goal total. --Petec1978
MRS Line: The Modin/Richards/St. Louis scoring line (aka "Torts' binky").
MRS v2.0: The Modin/Richards/Stillman scoring line. Also known as the "Second Wife Line."
MSL: Shorthand for Martin St. Louis.
MVP Line: The Marty/Vinny/Prospal line that punked the Caps in the 2002-'03 playoffs.
Old-Skool Assassin: Lightning captain Dave Andreychuk. --Petec1978
Pay Windah: The act of winning (see Rhodes, Dusty). --Petec1978
The Penny Lanes: Refers to a community of Vermont Catamont groupies that wistfully long for the day when Martin St. Louis and Eric Perrin will be re-united on a Tampa Bay Lightning scoring line. If that day ever comes, the Penny Lanes will be ecstatically huddled around their TVs in their PJ's with a box of Kleenex (tm), chocolates, and ice cream, giggling and laughing and crying as their long-awaited sappy, sentimental, made-for-TV reunion unfolds before their eyes. --exterminator-x
Pokemon Dudley: What Li'l Ricky does with his "assets" (players and picks): trades them ... often. Duds will never be satisfied until his has a complete set of Russians (including Pikachuvanov). "Gotta catch 'em all!"
Popcorn server: The press-box duty of a healthy scratch. --Oceanic39
The Prince: Vincent Lecavalier aka "Prince Vince." Sometimes used disparagingly but this nickname was originally applied when young Vinny was tearing up the Q in Junior hockey, thus earning the prestigious moniker inferring his future cornation as an NHL superstar. --Bolthed
Radio puppet (aka Lapdog): Sports radio host Steve Duemig, who toes the company line without ever questioning it. --Petec1978
Rimouski Bros.: Lecavalier and Richards. Refers to their previous incarnation as linemates for L'Oceanic in the QMJHL. Will they ever be reunited? --Bolthed
R2: Lightning prospect Evgeny Artukhin.
Shady 80: Former Bolts goaltender Kevin Weekes.
Smirky: Lightning defenseman Brad Lukowich. Just look at his face. --Bolthed
Snoozin' Zyuzin (aka Suddenly Susan): Former Lightning defenseman Andrei Zyuzin --Hoek
Stanislob (or "Slobby," or just "The Slob"): Nickname for Stanislav Neckar (that's NETS-cash), used when he creates messes in the defensive zone.
STL: Shorthand for Martin St. Louis.
Swedish Battle Tank: Fredrik Modin, POWER forward. Check your local listings and look out for that cannon! --Petec1978
Sybil: Originally Bolt92 and fondly recalled by his "fans" as Dolt92, most recently known as The Atomic Punk. Has more aliases than a Jennifer Garner stalker. --Bolthed
Torts' binky: (i.e. security blanket) The tried-and-true Modin-Richards-St. Louis line. --Petecl1978
Vaclav Prospal Survivalists: Similar to millennium survivalists who horded food, water, and gasoline in their militia-esque compounds, VP Survivalists believe the world will end because the Lightning allowed Vaclav Prospal to go to Anaheim via free agency. --Petec1978
Vinnie: Shorthand used by some for Vincent Lecavalier to differentiate from "Vinny" Prospal.
Vinny: Shorthand used by some for Vaclav Prospal to differentiate from Vincent Lecavalier ("Vinnie").
The Wall: Khabibulin, the Bulin Wall ... duh. --Bolthed
XO Sniper: Infamous shadowy figure best known for making an attempt on Gary Roberts' life, subsequently drawing a tripping penalty against the Lightning when Roberts went down "like he was shot from the XO Club." (Quote from John Tortorella)
Yoda: Former Lightning defenseman Grant Ledyard, known for his crusty wisdom and vocal leadership. The old man could skate some nights, others he just didn't have it. Future AHL coach or assistant perhaps? --Petec1978
While I am proud to have contributed some of these, I must give a respectful nod to the master - PeteC. He should be credited for the following glossary entries that do not currently carry his name: Dirt Line, Yoda Ledyard, Mo-dometer, Keefamania, Old Skool Assassin and Swedish Battle Tank.
I'll take credit for LightningNation, even though it was a source of discontent for awhile there. Also, MRS v2.0 should be called the Second Wife Line, IMO.
X.O. Sniper: Infamous shadowy figure most known for making an attempt on Gary Roberts' life, subsequently drawing a tripping penalty against the Lightning. ~Don't know who to give credit to since I heard many people use it, but inspired by John Tortorella