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Help: chicpea's tattoo

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Old
05-14-2004, 04:18 PM
  #1
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Help: chicpea's tattoo

As of late, a very special someone has sauntered into my life (we'll call this person "K.") While we have been together only a short time, I expect this twittering feeling in my stomach to continue for at least a few more weeks before it develops into full-blown fondness. As of yet, I have yet to reveal my naked form to K. but I expect this to happen shortly, perhaps after this weekend's visit to the "Untersea Gardens" and "High Tea" at the Empress Hotel (the Queen stays there, actually). Anyhoo, when the time comes, I want it to special and I want to be prepared. For this reason, I am thinking of having a tattoo inscribed on my body, something that will turn the tide in my favour in case K. is not sufficiently impressed with the erotic paleness of my flesh.

I am turning to you for suggestions as to what design I should go with. But please bear in mind that a] this is my first 'professional' tattoo and b] I am very weak and, though I'm not tall, I have an unusually elongated torso.
Thanks in advance.

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05-14-2004, 04:20 PM
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Mooch
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Ok, first things first.........

A) are you a female
B) are you a male
C) are you a bit of both
D) you dont know your-self.

Im still confused.

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05-14-2004, 04:21 PM
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*Cough* Habs logo *Cough*

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05-14-2004, 04:21 PM
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A real tattoo? K must be very special!

how about a tattoo of the sacred pretzel just above your heart? that would be quite original!

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05-14-2004, 04:22 PM
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Nothing better than a tattoo of an downward pointing arrow down around the bikini area (if you know what I mean) followed by the words..."This is where electricity comes from"

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05-14-2004, 04:40 PM
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Well, I used to write an advice column and if I had a nickel for every time I was asked "What to do if someone is not impressed with the erotic paleness of my flesh " .... Let's see, what did I say ? I, too am cursed with the unusually elongated torso [nice way of saying,freakishly short legs] I'd go with some type of phony scar. Mention how for many reasons you are bound to silence. Mention how the experience changed you forever. If you know what it means [I don't] to look wistful, do so. Say something about, 'at least we saved the children'. of course if K is intelligent, she'd have called a cab by now. I don't know Chicpea, I was a legend for screwing up these situations. Actually, I suspect everyone is but only a select few discuss it. My best move was to pick up a big rock to show how strong I was.

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05-14-2004, 04:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcphee
Well, I used to write an advice column and if I had a nickel for every time I was asked "What to do if someone is not impressed with the erotic paleness of my flesh " .... Let's see, what did I say ? I, too am cursed with the unusually elongated torso [nice way of saying,freakishly short legs] I'd go with some type of phony scar. Mention how for many reasons you are bound to silence. Mention how the experience changed you forever. If you know what it means [I don't] to look wistful, do so. Say something about, 'at least we saved the children'. of course if K is intelligent, she'd have called a cab by now. I don't know Chicpea, I was a legend for screwing up these situations. Actually, I suspect everyone is but only a select few discuss it. My best move was to pick up a big rock to show how strong I was.
Poor guy, I have long legs and I'm short enough so maybe we could swich

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05-14-2004, 04:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcphee
Well, I used to write an advice column and if I had a nickel for every time I was asked "What to do if someone is not impressed with the erotic paleness of my flesh " .... Let's see, what did I say ? I, too am cursed with the unusually elongated torso [nice way of saying,freakishly short legs] I'd go with some type of phony scar. Mention how for many reasons you are bound to silence. Mention how the experience changed you forever. If you know what it means [I don't] to look wistful, do so. Say something about, 'at least we saved the children'. of course if K is intelligent, she'd have called a cab by now. I don't know Chicpea, I was a legend for screwing up these situations. Actually, I suspect everyone is but only a select few discuss it. My best move was to pick up a big rock to show how strong I was.
You should get leg implants, pretty cheap now a days.

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05-14-2004, 05:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brisson11
*Cough* Habs logo *Cough*
I'm afraid that K is not nearly as fond of hockey (or the Habs) as I am.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lewis63
A real tattoo? K must be very special!
how about a tattoo of the sacred pretzel just above your heart? that would be quite original!
K. appears to be special so far. On our first date, for instance, K allowed me to pick out anything I wanted from Radio Shack provided it was under $12.
As for the pretzel, I thought of it, believe me, (as with some Taconite pellets in the shape of a heart) but it has to be special for K.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mcphee
I, too am cursed with the unusually elongated torso [nice way of saying,freakishly short legs]
I was trying to avoid saying this, yes.


Quote:
Originally Posted by mcphee
I'd go with some type of phony scar. Mention how for many reasons you are bound to silence. Mention how the experience changed you forever. If you know what it means [I don't] to look wistful, do so. Say something about, 'at least we saved the children'..
The scar is genius because it comes with a story, but I'm worried what will happen if it starts to fade or if K. wants to touch, which is inevitable. As for looking wistful, I think I can pull it off because I have a large hazy window in my grotto (where I will reveal my form) that I can look out of when I turn away in pain from the memory.


Last edited by chicpea: 05-15-2004 at 02:45 AM.
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05-14-2004, 05:01 PM
  #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mooch
Ok, first things first.........

A) are you a female
B) are you a male
C) are you a bit of both
D) you dont know your-self.

Im still confused.
i second that

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05-14-2004, 05:02 PM
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I believe that the real question is: is Chicpea gay or a lesbian?

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05-14-2004, 05:06 PM
  #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chicpea
As of late, a very special someone has sauntered into my life (we'll call this person "K.") While we have been together only a short time, I expect this twittering feeling in my stomach to continue for at least a few more weeks before it develops into full-blown fondness. As of yet, I have yet to reveal my naked form to K. but I expect this to happen shortly, perhaps after this weekend's visit to the "Untersea Gardens" and "High Tea" at the Empress Hotel (the Queen stays there, actually). Anyhoo, when the time comes, I want it to special and I want to be prepared. For this reason, I am thinking of having a tattoo inscribed on my body, something that will turn the tide in my favour in case K. is not sufficiently impressed with the erotic paleness of my flesh.
Seriously? Naww. Seriously??
Okay. My $.02: don't get a tattoo in the hopes that it will impress someone else. (Well, unless maybe you've had lengthy discussions with them on the subject already, and you are pretty damn sure they would indeed be totally and eternally impressed by it). Generally speaking, though, get a tattoo for yourself, and only for yourself. If somebody else happens to like it one day, well and good, they are liking a part of you that you chose independently.

If this person is not sufficiently impressed with the erotic paleness of your flesh, or not sufficiently interested on other grounds to be willing to set aside any lack of impression, then I don't see how a tattoo will help?
Quote:
I am turning to you for suggestions as to what design I should go with.
If you've decided, then:
Skull and crossbones full-size on your back, flames, sort of a G'n'R theme, with tendrils of flame extending up and down along arms and legs, all emanating from the glorious Malmsteenesque dragon on the pale elongated frontal torso. One smurf above your left ankle, barbed wire around the right. Barcode on the back of your right hand, O-Z-Z-Y on the fingers of your left.

I figure this is the best way to find out if K. reeeeeeally loves you or not.

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05-14-2004, 05:09 PM
  #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chicpea
As of late, a very special someone has sauntered into my life (we'll call this person "K.") While we have been together only a short time, I expect this twittering feeling in my stomach to continue for at least a few more weeks before it develops into full-blown fondness. As of yet, I have yet to reveal my naked form to K. but I expect this to happen shortly, perhaps after this weekend's visit to the "Untersea Gardens" and "High Tea" at the Empress Hotel (the Queen stays there, actually). Anyhoo, when the time comes, I want it to special and I want to be prepared. For this reason, I am thinking of having a tattoo inscribed on my body, something that will turn the tide in my favour in case K. is not sufficiently impressed with the erotic paleness of my flesh.

I am turning to you for suggestions as to what design I should go with. But please bear in mind that a] this is my first 'professional' tattoo and b] I am very weak and, though I'm not tall, I have an unusually elongated torso.
Thanks in advance.

oh yeah and ... are you nuts?!?!

don't get a tattoo this early in the relationship! next week she might not be worth the 8" filigree-ish letter K on your chest... (btw that is a suggestion,..)

i vote for a spoked B in lovely gold and black .. wait, i still say don't do it!

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05-14-2004, 05:12 PM
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Guy Caballero
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I once read some good advice for getting a tattoo: pick a design that has meaning for you, then wait a year. If you still want to go ahead with it, go for it. You'll have had many nights to ponder its worthiness to be indelibly scribed into your flesh by that point.

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05-14-2004, 05:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blind Gardien
Skull and crossbones full-size on your back, flames, sort of a G'n'R theme, with tendrils of flame extending up and down along arms and legs, all emanating from the glorious Malmsteenesque dragon on the pale elongated frontal torso. One smurf above your left ankle, barbed wire around the right. Barcode on the back of your right hand, O-Z-Z-Y on the fingers of your left.

I figure this is the best way to find out if K. reeeeeeally loves you or not.
Nice. You can also never go wrong with a barbarian chick with sword and shield riding a giant white panther against an Arctic backdrop. Maybe with some lightning bolts shooting out of her sword. Classy.

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05-14-2004, 05:18 PM
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Bill McNeal
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You guys are crazy, this is the right tattoo.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg Special%20K.jpg‎ (138.0 KB, 29 views)

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05-14-2004, 05:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Guy Caballero
I once read some good advice for getting a tattoo: pick a design that has meaning for you, then wait a year. If you still want to go ahead with it, go for it. You'll have had many nights to ponder its worthiness to be indelibly scribed into your flesh by that point.
Actually, GC's avatar made me think of a cool tattoo theme... not necessarily what you want in this case, but, ne'ertheless: okay, not sure if you want to start at the top or the bottom, probably the top if you want to go for accuracy... that would be, what 1893 Montreal A.A.A. and Graham Drinkwater or whatever, onwards and upwards/downwards listing all the teams and players, making yourself a walking replica of the Stanley Cup. Then you can even pour champagne in yourself to celebrate. I bet Brisebois/Lafleur could help you with the engravings, as they have had recent experience...

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05-14-2004, 05:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Guy Caballero
Nice. You can also never go wrong with a barbarian chick with sword and shield riding a giant white panther against an Arctic backdrop. Maybe with some lightning bolts shooting out of her sword. Classy.
That *is* classy. Some of the finer ladies and gents however prefer a surprisingly sleazier approach, like the leather-clad L.A.Guns babe riding the giant revolver.

See, chicpea, that's why it's so hard to choose for somebody you don't know that well yet... any of these suggestions are fabulous and all, but you can't really know what K. would like. I have yet another different idea: just buy a tattoo gun and some ink... wrap it up with a nice red bow... give it to K... bare the erotic canvas of your pale flesh, and let K. personalise you with his/her own design. That *really* shows you care, it shows you trust K., it speaks of commitment, gives you a chance to show how tough you are too.

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05-14-2004, 05:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blind Gardien
Actually, GC's avatar made me think of a cool tattoo theme... not necessarily what you want in this case, but, ne'ertheless: okay, not sure if you want to start at the top or the bottom, probably the top if you want to go for accuracy... that would be, what 1893 Montreal A.A.A. and Graham Drinkwater or whatever, onwards and upwards/downwards listing all the teams and players, making yourself a walking replica of the Stanley Cup. Then you can even pour champagne in yourself to celebrate. I bet Brisebois/Lafleur could help you with the engravings, as they have had recent experience...
Yes that would certainly be a classy tatoo and you can engrave all the Leaf cups on your behind too. Think of all the great pickup lines you can use.









Lafleur warns that in case you DO get such a tatoo, stay away from ANYONE named Belfour.

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05-14-2004, 05:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brisebois
Think of all the great pickup lines you can use.
"Hey, how come you've only got Glenn Anderson and Jim Weimer from the 1988 Oilers?"

"Hey baby, play your cards right and you'll get to see the full roster."

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05-14-2004, 06:00 PM
  #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Guy Caballero
"Hey baby, play your cards right and you'll get to see the full roster."
hmm,.. that one would work on many girls i am sure,...

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05-14-2004, 06:14 PM
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Just get a belt tattoo. Nothing classier than someone walking around with just a belt on. Trust me, the chicks will dig it.

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05-14-2004, 06:18 PM
  #23
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Confuse your friends and neighbors and new girlfriend alike with a tatoo of the label from a box of Special K.




Witehall just took out a white glove and declared his intention to slap Lafleur across the cheek with it then say,

"I challenge you to a du-elll."

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05-14-2004, 06:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Guy!

Witehall just took out a white glove and declared his intention to slap Lafleur across the cheek with it then say,

"I challenge you to a du-elll."
Witehall like in Johan Witehall

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05-14-2004, 07:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Albino
You guys are crazy, this is the right tattoo.

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