HFBoards

Go Back   HFBoards > Other Leagues > All other USA Amateur, USHL, NAHL, USNTDP etc.
Mobile Hockey's Future Become a Sponsor Site Rules Support Forum vBookie Page 2

Junior Coaches being physical with players

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old
10-24-2010, 03:07 PM
  #1
UP Hockey Fan
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 2
vCash: 500
Junior Coaches being physical with players

Quick question to anyone who may want to respond:

At what level of play does it become acceptable for a coach to curse, threaten and physically grab and intimidate a hockey player from his team?

This happened to my son recently and I need to determine how to address it with the coach and GM.
Thanks in advance!

UP Hockey Fan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old
10-24-2010, 06:51 PM
  #2
wings5
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Country: Canada
Posts: 3,813
vCash: 500
It is never acceptable at any time or age for a coach to physically grab your son. Yelling there are acceptions because they could be used as means to fire up the team, or if he's upset. If you felt your son was being singled out then even with yelling you have a case to argue. However touching is a much different matter I would have told him off and if he really is that type of coach you should take your son off that team. Threatening and physically grabbing are uneceptable practises for a coach.

wings5 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old
10-26-2010, 12:55 PM
  #3
Steelhead16
Registered User
 
Steelhead16's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Boise, ID
Country: United States
Posts: 1,587
vCash: 500
It never is okay to do anything physical. Not okay and likely illegal. Yelling and/or cursing maybe 15 and above but he shouldn't be doing to everyone just to do it. If that is he coaches then he shouldn't be coaching and your son should certainly not be playing for him. I've coached up through Juniors and also high school baseball. All kids are different and a good coach will treat every kid differently with the way he motivates them Some kids respond to being yelled at in a challenging way and accept the challenge, some need mistakes explained clearly and calmly and some know when the made a mistake and you put them right back out there to let them redeem themselves. Yelling and cursing just to show who's in charge is a sign of a weak human being. If that's the tactic then he probably has limited hockey knowledge anyway.
I actually got into coaching because my younger brother was going to have to play for an A-hole like that as a 14 year old. 24 kids tried out and 6 refused to play for the guy and weren't going to play at all. Then he cut 6 kids that he didn't want to be bothered with because they were pretty inexperienced. So the 12 got together and made another team and talked me into coaching them. We played that other team 3 times during the season and beat them badly all 3 times with an 11 year old back up goalie we got from a peewee team. We lost the CA. State Bantam championship in double overtime and they didn't make the playoffs.
If you don't have another option for a team maybe you can make your own option if other parents feel the same way you do. Have you talked to any of them?

Steelhead16 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old
10-26-2010, 04:42 PM
  #4
wjhl2009fan
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 9,043
vCash: 500
Quote:
Originally Posted by UP Hockey Fan View Post
Quick question to anyone who may want to respond:

At what level of play does it become acceptable for a coach to curse, threaten and physically grab and intimidate a hockey player from his team?

This happened to my son recently and I need to determine how to address it with the coach and GM.
Thanks in advance!
Its a very slippery slope its never fine to grab or intimidate.However curse is not nice but some times its needed with older age groups.As for threaten if he says he is going to bench a player that is one thing if its something else then no its not all right and needs to be addressed.

wjhl2009fan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old
10-26-2010, 10:03 PM
  #5
Mayor Bee
\/me_____you\/
 
Mayor Bee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 16,174
vCash: 500
Quote:
Originally Posted by UP Hockey Fan View Post
Quick question to anyone who may want to respond:

At what level of play does it become acceptable for a coach to curse, threaten and physically grab and intimidate a hockey player from his team?

This happened to my son recently and I need to determine how to address it with the coach and GM.
Thanks in advance!
Physical contact is a no-no. I've done some football coaching (high school), and that's one of the big things. The only time that it could be defensible is in the event of breaking up a fight, fixing a piece of equipment that isn't first taken off, or preventing an incident from occurring between that player and another.

In the case of physical contact along with what else you described (threatening, intimidating), it's probably safe to say that this isn't what happened. Coaches are teachers first, and just as a teacher doesn't grab and threaten a kid for not having his homework done, a coach can't do the same with a player simply because it's sports.

Mayor Bee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old
10-27-2010, 04:50 AM
  #6
sjmay*
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 4,732
vCash: 500
Quote:
Originally Posted by Steelhead16 View Post
It never is okay to do anything physical. Not okay and likely illegal. Yelling and/or cursing maybe 15 and above but he shouldn't be doing to everyone just to do it. If that is he coaches then he shouldn't be coaching and your son should certainly not be playing for him. I've coached up through Juniors and also high school baseball. All kids are different and a good coach will treat every kid differently with the way he motivates them Some kids respond to being yelled at in a challenging way and accept the challenge, some need mistakes explained clearly and calmly and some know when the made a mistake and you put them right back out there to let them redeem themselves. Yelling and cursing just to show who's in charge is a sign of a weak human being. If that's the tactic then he probably has limited hockey knowledge anyway.
I actually got into coaching because my younger brother was going to have to play for an A-hole like that as a 14 year old. 24 kids tried out and 6 refused to play for the guy and weren't going to play at all. Then he cut 6 kids that he didn't want to be bothered with because they were pretty inexperienced. So the 12 got together and made another team and talked me into coaching them. We played that other team 3 times during the season and beat them badly all 3 times with an 11 year old back up goalie we got from a peewee team. We lost the CA. State Bantam championship in double overtime and they didn't make the playoffs.
If you don't have another option for a team maybe you can make your own option if other parents feel the same way you do. Have you talked to any of them?
Whereabouts in Cali, what club?

sjmay* is offline   Reply With Quote
Old
10-27-2010, 05:44 PM
  #7
Steelhead16
Registered User
 
Steelhead16's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Boise, ID
Country: United States
Posts: 1,587
vCash: 500
Quote:
Originally Posted by sjmay View Post
Whereabouts in Cali, what club?
Bay Area...Tri Valley. It was back in about 1983.

Steelhead16 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old
10-28-2010, 01:14 PM
  #8
LangwaysMullet
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: baltimore
Country: United States
Posts: 251
vCash: 500
I coach U18aa and I'll willingly admit that I use all sorts of language and yelling. I do it when I'm happy, I do it when I'm mad, I do it when I'm fed up. I just do it. It's part of me. I played like that, I work like that in my personal career, I teach college courses like that, it's a large part of who I am. It's an expression of enthusiasm for me personally and I can't curb my enthusiasm when I'm passionate for something. Hockey just happens to be at the tops of my list for passion. I've had parents shocked at practices when they see it for the first time but eventually get over it. I've had players ask me if I was mad at them or the world, I've had more than one ref tell me I need anger management counseling but I never degrade anyone.

I'm not proud of some of the things I say, and Lord knows I should probably think before I talk sometimes, but I can't do this (coach) calm and subdued. I tried and it doesn’t work. My attitude fires 90% of my skaters up in a way that their parents say they've never seen before. The other 10% don't give a damn and that's just how some kids are, I can't change them. The ones who are intimidated early in the season eventually realize I'm just a loud jackarse and I mean no harm, but they seem to respect the way I coach and feed off of my enthusiasm. Something about my tone and my attitude seems to help them focus. Maybe I'd just like to think that sometimes Either way, the team went from barely fielding 12 skaters and always sitting at the bottom of our division to us having 50+ show up at tryouts for 21 roster spots and contending for a banner every season. So I figure either I'm doing something right.

Physical contact is a definite no-no. Coaches fill many roles on a team and mean different things to different kids. But physical aggressor shouldn't be one of them.

Personally, I'd approach the coach before going above his head. If you witnessed the event, explain why you have an issue with whatever was done to your son and what family values the coach violated in doing so. If you didn't witness the event, clarify what happened because there's always going to be different sides to a story. If the coach is unresponsive or aggravated, let him know you'd like to meet with club officials to discuss and be prepared to pull your child from the program if a reasonable solution can't be agreed upon.

LangwaysMullet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old
10-31-2010, 12:42 AM
  #9
Starsfan24
Let's Go Cubbies
 
Starsfan24's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Denton, TX - UNT
Country: United States
Posts: 17,310
vCash: 500
Not really a "physical" story, but at tonight's Tornado-Wenatchee game, we heard a story from some Wenatchee parents (Who were from San Diego) that they were not allowed to go have dinner after the game last night. Coach said no. That is unacceptable in my opinion.

Starsfan24 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old
11-02-2010, 04:11 PM
  #10
wjhl2009fan
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 9,043
vCash: 500
Quote:
Originally Posted by starsfan24 View Post
Not really a "physical" story, but at tonight's Tornado-Wenatchee game, we heard a story from some Wenatchee parents (Who were from San Diego) that they were not allowed to go have dinner after the game last night. Coach said no. That is unacceptable in my opinion.
While it may not seem right teams have there reasons for these sort of rules.

wjhl2009fan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old
11-04-2010, 12:44 PM
  #11
UP Hockey Fan
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 2
vCash: 500
Thank you to those that responded. At this point I have taken the approach of observer, trying to watch the games and the interaction that this coach has with my son and the other players. Unfortunately I do not live close to where the team plays, so I don't get to see many of the games. My son tells me that it hasn't happened again, but he also says he can tell that the coach hates him. I don't mind that so much as long as he keeps his hands off of him. Everyone has different coaching styles, perhaps he feels my son will be more motivated if he can get him pissed off! Who knows. Anyway, you confirmed my thoughts on physical contact by the coach directed at players, and you have pointed out some good ways to address. Thanks

UP Hockey Fan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old
11-04-2010, 03:18 PM
  #12
Badger36
Registered User
 
Badger36's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Columbus, OH
Country: United States
Posts: 2,315
vCash: 500
Yelling isnt too bad once a kid is a teenager, but grabbing a kid is NEVER acceptable. Even in college or the pros its never acceptable for a coach to put his hands on a player.

Badger36 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Forum Jump


Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:17 PM.

monitoring_string = "e4251c93e2ba248d29da988d93bf5144"
Contact Us - HFBoards - Archive - Privacy Statement - Terms of Use - Advertise - Top - AdChoices

vBulletin Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
HFBoards.com is a property of CraveOnline Media, LLC, an Evolve Media, LLC company. ©2015 All Rights Reserved.