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Power rankings - 2011 edition

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Old
05-02-2011, 04:26 AM
  #1
ES
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Power rankings - 2011 edition

These get often mentioned here, so a topic for 2011 rankings is here.

Pre-tournament

1. RUSSIA
That was 2010. This is 2011.
2. CZECH REPUBLIC
"Happiness is the longing for repetition." - Milan Kundera
3. CANADA
The Maple Leaf will rely on Maple Leaf power
4. SLOVAKIA
No one comes into our house and pushes us around (sorry, Slovenia)
5. FINLAND
What, no Nummelin? Can this really be the World Championship?
6. SWEDEN
Please welcome your World Junior silver medalists
7. SWITZERLAND
Who needs Justin Bieber when you've got Matthias Bieber?
8. USA
Say, can we make it to London for the Royal Wedding?
9. BELARUS
One Kostitsyn good, two Kostitsyns better
10. DENMARK
Ready to roll – we've been riding our bikes and limiting our pastry
11. GERMANY
This year's tournament isn't in Germany
12. NORWAY
Mats Zuccarello has a broken hand – Norway has a broken heart
13. LATVIA
Fear not – there is still time for the beaver to rise
14. FRANCE
If Napoleon conquered Europe, how come we're usually 14th?
15. AUSTRIA
Yes, the Vanek factor was included in this scientific calculation
16. SLOVENIA
Just like Phil Kessel, someone's gotta be last

After first games:
1. CZECH REPUBLIC
Still good as gold after Game One
2. CANADA
Will Tavares lobby to move the Islanders to Central Europe?
3. GERMANY
Beethoven. Einstein. Endras.
4. SLOVAKIA
We're winning – and not like Charlie Sheen
5. FINLAND
It's a Granlund day for Finnish hockey
6. USA
After the 5-1 win, the Americans didn't have to release their birth certificates
7. NORWAY
If we played 'em ten times, they might win nine. But not this game. Not tonight.
8. SWITZERLAND
Julien Vauclair is lights out in his Kosice debut
9. LATVIA
Gotta work on those angles, Mr. Masalskis
10. BELARUS
Beaten by children...ouch!
11. SWEDEN
Well, at least it wasn't Iceland
12. RUSSIA
What the (insert favourite Russian expletive)?
13. DENMARK
Nine shots of schnapps is a lot. Nine shots on goal is not.
14. FRANCE
If we'd stayed in Poland, maybe we would have scored a goal
15. SLOVENIA
Robert Kristan is Jesus Christ Superstar. Miroslav Satan is...well, you know.
16. AUSTRIA
Arnold Schwarzenegger is available

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Old
05-02-2011, 07:45 AM
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Davebo
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Damn - Russia moving 12 spots....

Is that a record?

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Old
05-02-2011, 07:50 AM
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vippe
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I always enjoy these

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Old
05-02-2011, 08:34 AM
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very funny as usuall I like iihf's power rankings

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Old
05-02-2011, 03:57 PM
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yeah.. I somehow predict it will be not pleasure for Slovakia after game 2...

But who cares. We will still win it everything.


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05-02-2011, 05:00 PM
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Power Rankings (as of May 2)
1.

GERMANY
You laughed when the last Power Rankings had us third. Who’s laughing now, dummkopf?

2.

CANADA
French toast drowned in maple syrup

3.

CZECH REPUBLIC
Gotta stay focused, no easy games. Now, imagine the score if Jagr was 29...

4.

USA
Cheering crowds gathered...wait, that wasn’t for the win over Norway?

5.

SWITZERLAND
The boys from Bern are boogying

6.

FINLAND
Little-known fact: Paul McCartney wrote “When I’m 64” about Granlund

7.

SWEDEN
Mats Wennerholm has promised to wear Salming Underwear for the rest of the tournament

8.

SLOVAKIA
Repeat after me: "There is no home ice curse!"

9.

RUSSIA
This is not NHL 94. It’s not cool to make somebody’s head bleed.

10.

LATVIA
Considering we usually score zero goals against Finland, we’ll take it

11.

NORWAY
Nick Palmieri...dude, are you sure you're not Zach Parise?

12.

SLOVENIA
Russia = 2,014 registered players. Slovenia = 155. 6-4 Russia = Good work, Slovenia!

13.

BELARUS
Activists call on Belarus to start putting the puck in the net

14.

AUSTRIA
Whose bright idea was it to put Mattias Weinhandl in goal?

15.

DENMARK
We need to improve in certain areas, like not losing 6-0

16.

FRANCE
Mr. Huet? Your return flight to Chicago has been cancelled


please... Canada 2nd behind Germany? I would give Germany credit for what they did but get real - at least little bit, please...

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Old
05-02-2011, 05:24 PM
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Brun0
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Got to love these!

Never really knew what these were for before

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Old
05-02-2011, 05:32 PM
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joe89
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Quote:
Whose bright idea was it to put Mattias Weinhandl in goal?


Mr. Huet? Your return flight to Chicago has been cancelled
Ouch.

@slovakfan, this is a pure power rankings list. Wins over Russia and Slovakia > wins over Belarus and France.

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Old
05-02-2011, 05:44 PM
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hockeygeek
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Quote:
Originally Posted by joe89 View Post
Ouch.

@slovakfan, this is a pure power rankings list. Wins over Russia and Slovakia > wins over Belarus and France.
13 gf:2 ga>6 gf:3 ga and for that matter the Czech's deserve the 2 spot but good on Germany. They can wear the targets

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Old
05-03-2011, 02:47 AM
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Maverick41
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hockeygeek View Post
13 gf:2 ga>6 gf:3 ga and for that matter the Czech's deserve the 2 spot but good on Germany. They can wear the targets
Don't take it so seriously guys. The just put Germany in the number one spot beacuse it made it easier to come up with a funny line to go along.

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Old
05-03-2011, 04:33 AM
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Bubba88
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Germany

WTF but always funny

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Old
05-03-2011, 08:00 AM
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TheFatOne
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slovakfan View Post
14.

AUSTRIA
Whose bright idea was it to put Mattias Weinhandl in goal?




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Old
05-04-2011, 04:35 PM
  #13
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Power Rankings (as of May 4)

1.CZECH REPUBLIC
Feels like home, baby

2.CANADA
Good win – no more “Swiss cheese” jokes

3.GERMANY
No fear: it won’t take us 81 years to top the Power Rankings again

4.SWEDEN
This’ll make up for spoiling King Carl Gustaf’s birthday on Saturday

5.RUSSIA
Has anyone ever seen Kovalchuk and Henrik Sedin in the same room together?

6.SWITZERLAND
Could everybody cut back on the “Swiss Miss” thing too?

7.FINLAND
The Czechs were no fun 10 years ago, and they're still no fun today

8.USA
We lost, but Swedes have to live under socialism with nonstop ABBA

9.NORWAY
Anders is a Bastiansen of hope

10.SLOVAKIA
Well, our ticket sales are good, and so is the weather

11.DENMARK
It’s a Mads, Mads, Mads, Mads Worlds

12.FRANCE
Kévin is one Hecquefeuille of a hockey player

13.LATVIA
We should sign that guy and rename him Mads Christensens

14.SLOVENIA
Hey, in fairness, the Swiss allowed 61 shots in their last game too

15.BELARUS
Our team has one goal: to score one goal every game

16.AUSTRIA
Even Belarus could give us tips on how to score

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Old
05-04-2011, 04:44 PM
  #14
TexasTriumph
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Hahaha these are very funny!... Insert for Russian rank - (Can the Capitals loan us Ovechkin and Varlamov? )

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