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Good for a Laugh !

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07-19-2004, 09:18 AM
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Good for a Laugh !

Since September 11, 2001, Americans and Canadians have come together
> as never before in our generation. We have banded together to overcome
> tremendous adversity. We have weathered direct attacks on our own
> soil, wars overseas, corporate/government scandal, layoffs,
> unemployment, stock price plunges, droughts, fires, mad cow, SARS,
> high gasoline prices, and a myriad of economic and physical disasters
> both great and small. But now, we must come together once again to
> overcome our greatest challenge yet.
> Hundreds of Professional Hockey players in our very own nation are
> going to be locked out, living at well below the seven-figure salary
> level. And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of
> their life giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result
> of the upcoming lockout situation. But you can help!
> For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the
> cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help an NHL player
> remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution
> by no means solves the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum
> salary, but it's a start, and every little bit will help!
> Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a hockey
> Player it could mean the difference between spending the lockout
> golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven
> hundred dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage
> payment, or a month of medical insurance, but to a hockey player, $700
> will partially replace his daily salary.
> Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy
> that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new
> Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.
> Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player
> you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k),
> real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your
> home. Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an
> unsigned photo of the player lounging during the lockout on a beach
> somewhere in the Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an
> additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of
> other peoples' suffering.
> Your NHL player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just
> wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your
> name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special
> operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.
> I would like to sponsor a locked out NHL player. My preference is
> (check below):
> [ ] Forward [ ] Defenseman [ ] Goaltender [ ] Entire team (Please call
> our 900 number to ask for the cost of a specific team - $10 per
> minute) [ ] Jaromir Jagr (Higher cost: $32,000 per day)
> Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the
> duration of the lockout. Please send me a picture of the player I have
> sponsored, along with an Jaromir Jagr 2001 Income Statement and my
> very own Bob Goodenow (Executive Director of the NHLPA player's Union)
> pin to wear proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat).
> Your Name: _______________________
> Telephone Number: _______________________
> Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______
> [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other
> Signature: _______________________
> Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):
> Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______
> [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other
> Signature: _______________________

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07-19-2004, 02:51 PM
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I think Spectors had this as well, great stuff

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