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NHL players need YOU!

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07-28-2004, 10:20 PM
  #1
King of Calgary
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NHL players need YOU!

Finally a project we can all get behind.

NHL players need YOU!

Since September 11, 2001, Americans and Canadians have come
together as never before in our generation. We have banded together
to overcome tremendous adversity. We have weathered direct attacks
on our own soil, wars overseas, corporate/government scandal,
layoffs, unemployment, stock price plunges, droughts, fires, mad
cow, SARS, high gasoline prices, and a myriad of economic and
physical disasters both great and small. But now, we must come
together once again to overcome our greatest challenge yet.
Hundreds of Professional Hockey players in our very own nation
are going to be locked out, living at well below the seven-figure
salary level. And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived
of their life giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result
of the upcoming lockout situation. But you can help!

For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the
cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help an NHL player
remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution
by no means solves the problem as it barely covers the annual
minimum salary, but it's a start, and every little bit will help!

Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a hockey
player it could mean the difference between spending the lockout
golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred
dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment,
or a month of medical insurance, but to a hockey player, $700 will
partially replace his daily salary. Your commitment of less than $700
a day will enable a player to buy that home entertainment center,
trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.

HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?
Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player
you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real
estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home.
Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned
photo of the player lounging during the lockout on a beach somewhere
in the Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150).
Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples'
suffering.

HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?
Your NHL player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just
wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your
name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special
operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.

YES, I WANT TO HELP!
I would like to sponsor a locked out NHL player. My preference is (check
below): [ ] Forward [ ] Defenseman [ ] Goaltender [ ] Entire team (Please call
our 900 number to ask for the cost of a specific team - $10 per minute)
[ ] Jaromir Jagr (Higher cost: $32,000 per day)
Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the duration
of the lockout. Please send me a picture of the player I have sponsored,
along with an Jaromir Jagr 2001 Income Statement and my very own Bob
Goodenow (Executive Director of the NHLPA player's Union) pin to wear
proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat).

Your Name: _______________________
Telephone Number: _______________________
Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______
[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other
Signature: _______________________
Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):
Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______
[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Other
Signature: _______________________



I donít know if this has been posted. I thought it was pretty funny.

 
Old
07-28-2004, 11:19 PM
  #2
David A. Rainer
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Send a message via MSN to David A. Rainer
:lol

My answer...

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Old
07-29-2004, 12:01 AM
  #3
jfont
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will you take a check?



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