People who have been on this site for years might have noticed over the years my posts while still sucking when it comes to spelling and grammer--I no long attack everyone for little things. About 4 years ago I was diagnosed with being a manic -depressive and have been dealing with it. One reason why I stopped drinking because if you suffer from depression--even one drink is not a good thing.
Anyway. With me, if something went wrong, real or imaginary, it would send off a spinning affect where for up to four days I could be none functioning. I would crawl into my mind and replay things over and over again and my head would cave in and it would be like falling into a deep hole and not being able to climb out. Or I would act out and be the biggest prat, bully and all around jerk were no one would want to deal with me--guess what--this would cause a further decent into my hole because the moment I did something wrong or treated someone like crap--I was unable to say I am sorry--and I would go back into my head over thinking stuff
If I find the web site there is a few good sites on depressionw written not by doctors who got their training via just books--but there are a shrinks out there who got their degrees from learning about themselves as they suffered from sever depression and they go into detail of how their mind worked
__________________
trying to fend off exwife number 2
45000/010113
GO SHARKS GO
People who have been on this site for years might have noticed over the years my posts while still sucking when it comes to spelling and grammer--I no long attack everyone for little things. About 4 years ago I was diagnosed with being a manic -depressive and have been dealing with it. One reason why I stopped drinking because if you suffer from depression--even one drink is not a good thing.
Anyway. With me, if something went wrong, real or imaginary, it would send off a spinning affect where for up to four days I could be none functioning. I would crawl into my mind and replay things over and over again and my head would cave in and it would be like falling into a deep hole and not being able to climb out. Or I would act out and be the biggest prat, bully and all around jerk were no one would want to deal with me--guess what--this would cause a further decent into my hole because the moment I did something wrong or treated someone like crap--I was unable to say I am sorry--and I would go back into my head over thinking stuff
If I find the web site there is a few good sites on depressionw written not by doctors who got their training via just books--but there are a shrinks out there who got their degrees from learning about themselves as they suffered from sever depression and they go into detail of how their mind worked
I've suffered from Depression as well. So has my mother. It's a very very serious condition, and there is so much ignorance, and stigma attached to it.
No offense to you Brink, but this kind of response is symptomatic of the utter lack of information we have mental illness. We need to be more informed, not treat everyone with "something wrong in their heads" as pariahs.
The thing about depression, unlike drug or alcohol problems--it is hard to tell when some people are depressed
When a guy is stoned or drunk you can tell by the way he looks or is acting
When a guy is depressed he can act or look the usual way--but in his mind things are going south
Also--with depression--not all depression are the same and how people react to being depressed is largely different and can not be labled as easy as one might think
for me atleast once I started the downward spiral of depression nothing could pull me out of it until I hit rock bottom or something shocked me back into reality or something happend that took my mind out of the spiral(nothing shocking but something that may seem minor--like one day when I was very depressed a buddy asked me to look after his cat for a week--a few hours playing with the cat things started getting better and my mind was not so bleak)
But with depression there is one large problem-- when someone tries to help you and you are mad at the world--it could do more harm then good and actual cause the downward spiral to go quicker and cause more self loathing.
Last edited by jumptheshark: 08-16-2011 at 08:59 PM.
Depression is the worst thing one can experience. I am confident in that. It is a hell that cannot be escaped and it is something that shouldn't be wished on anyone. You can't understand clinical depression until you experience it. It is utter nothingness. You don't want to die, you don't want to live, you just don't want. I know for myself I will never use the word 'depression' unless it is in reference to the clinical depression that so many suffer from needlessly.
I remember one instance, when I thought I was out of the woods, where I was taking a shower and my shampoo bottle sent me into a death spiral and into depression. I looked at it and thought "someone lives to make the shape and color of this product. What a pointless existence". And so another bout of depression ensued. Something so small can send you into darkness. A quote from Prozac Nation sums it up perfectly "it comes gradually, then suddenly".
With all that being said, it is treatable. The problem seems to be that people are afraid to talk about it. As if they will be deemed lazy, weak, or even self-absorbed. The problem is more in males than it is in females. Some studies show women to be more likely to suffer from depression than men, but the truth is that men just don't talk about it. It has been conditioned in North American males that emotions are for the weak and that real men don't talk about their feelings. In Europe, Prozac is not at all a taboo drug and it is common for someone to take an anti-depressant. Depression is a physical chemical imbalance in the brain, and as my doctor said to me "you would'n't deny insulin to combat an imbalance in body chemistry, so why deny Prozac to combat an imbalance in brain chemistry". The medicine can literally save your life.
From my own personal experience, the best thing for fighting depression is getting help. Talk to a doctor. Then talk to people who have been through it and have conquered it. Because it is conquerable. I will say that there is a bright side in experiencing depression and that is that the sweeter things in life are much more sweet. My heart breaks for Rick in the time before he made his decision. He must have been in such a horrible torment but he needed to keep fighting. This subject needs to be more open and it must be discussed more in public. Society as a whole needs to accept that we all have emotions and sometimes suffering in silence is completely needless but more importantly, it doesn't make you stronger.
From my own personal experience, the best thing for fighting depression is getting help. Talk to a doctor. Then talk to people who have been through it and have conquered it. Because it is conquerable. I will say that there is a bright side in experiencing depression and that is that the sweeter things in life are much more sweet.
Fantastic advice. Paxil was the drug that finally worked for me. Higher dosage than was expected, and some crazy weird side-effects (screwed-up diurnal cycle, anorexia athletica, etc.), but in the end, that light at the end of the tunnel is so freaking beautiful, and I don't take the good things for granted anymore.
when I get home from work I will post a link to a website run by a guy who suffers from both being a manic depressive and Bi-polor--his has a video that gives good insight how someone who is depress may see life and has many articles on depression and what went through his mind. He now has a phd and is considered ane expert at dealing with both subject--I forget the guys name so if I can not find it on line now I will post it when I get home
I suffered from depression but I don't believe it was for any sort of physiological reason, and rather was purely psychological.
I had never really "failed" at anything in my life and University kicked the crap out of me. I didn't want to work hard at it, knew I needed to, and ended up in reclusive and spiraling out of control and failing most of my exams. It also helped when people I didn't like (that were dating a friend of mine) assumed that my poor marks meant that I "wasn't as smart as [i] said [I] was" in the midst of squabbling she told me that no one gave a **** about me and that I'd do the world a favor if I ended it.
So I found myself standing on the railing of the Groat Road bridge at around 2 or 3 AM, where literally a strong gust of wind would have ended my evening. I was scared in through that, I convinced myself that the reason why I was scared was because I knew deep down that I didn't want to do this. And fortunately it got me thinking about positive things in my life, that I hadn't really been exposed to all that much the prior couple of months.
I got off the railing and walked to West Edmonton Mall. Watched some figure skaters at the Ice Palace and then made a local collect call (no change) to my parents and my Mom knew right away something was up, and came in to pick me up and get me some food.
I did learn something else very useful. It's a very long walk to WEM from the University
In the end I'm "glad" it all happened because I think I became a better person from it, and it sort of lets me know that, with reflection, I am capable of dealing with situations of extreme stress and find a way to manufacture it into a positive. In retrospect, I had already kinda known that as I turned my brother's accident several years earlier and manifested it into being a fantastic defender and rebounder in Jr. and Sr. High basketball.
I suffered from depression but I don't believe it was for any sort of physiological reason, and rather was purely psychological.
I had never really "failed" at anything in my life and University kicked the crap out of me. I didn't want to work hard at it, knew I needed to, and ended up in reclusive and spiraling out of control and failing most of my exams. It also helped when people I didn't like (that were dating a friend of mine) assumed that my poor marks meant that I "wasn't as smart as [i] said [I] was" in the midst of squabbling she told me that no one gave a **** about me and that I'd do the world a favor if I ended it.
So I found myself standing on the railing of the Groat Road bridge at around 2 or 3 AM, where literally a strong gust of wind would have ended my evening. I was scared in through that, I convinced myself that the reason why I was scared was because I knew deep down that I didn't want to do this. And fortunately it got me thinking about positive things in my life, that I hadn't really been exposed to all that much the prior couple of months.
I got off the railing and walked to West Edmonton Mall. Watched some figure skaters at the Ice Palace and then made a local collect call (no change) to my parents and my Mom knew right away something was up, and came in to pick me up and get me some food.
I did learn something else very useful. It's a very long walk to WEM from the University
In the end I'm "glad" it all happened because I think I became a better person from it, and it sort of lets me know that, with reflection, I am capable of dealing with situations of extreme stress and find a way to manufacture it into a positive. In retrospect, I had already kinda known that as I turned my brother's accident several years earlier and manifested it into being a fantastic defender and rebounder in Jr. and Sr. High basketball.
Anyways since we were sharing
Touching story. Wow the first paragraph sounds a lot like what I went through last year. Glad you pulled out of it. Thanks for sharing.
I'm really wondering what the lesson that we should be taking from this. I've read a lot of articles that say Lessons from Rypien tragedy or what could we have done.
From what I read it sounds like he had a lot of friends in his corner and the Canucks sound like they had helped him in the past.
Is this not one of those situations where help was there, but it didn't matter because he was going to do what he was going to do regardless?
I'm really wondering what the lesson that we should be taking from this. I've read a lot of articles that say Lessons from Rypien tragedy or what could we have done.
From what I read it sounds like he had a lot of friends in his corner and the Canucks sound like they had helped him in the past.
Is this not one of those situations where help was there, but it didn't matter because he was going to do what he was going to do regardless?
Of course its always hard to say. One of the known tendencies in depression is to isolate and resist help, from friends, family, or wellwishers.
But it can also be much more complicated. The depressed individual to casual bystanders often appears happier before a suicide attempt. The alleged reason for this is that the depressed individual, always feeling that their life is out of control, is happy if they have a plan and that they now control their fate. People of course mistake this as the person functioning well.
In cases of manic depression specifically its hard to get people to maintain taking their medications no matter how effective and beneficial the meds seem to be. For the manic depressive they feel strange and sometimes miss the mania and want to experience it again. For some reason the person doesn't reflect that they will also experience the lows again.
I would imagine Rypien for some reason went off his medication. This may have felt good to him initially but is likely to result in a return to depression. One of the tragedies in this is living in Coleman Alberta I'm not sure theres a lot of mental health services available(Maybe in Pincher Creek, or if not Lethbridge) and Rypien was more on his own in that small community.
In present day one thing that is always underestimated is the amount of patient care and outreach care that would be beneficial to a patient. In Alberta, with rampant cost cutting, its always the message that the least possible services is sufficient.
Mental health services is never a priority in Alberta.
I honestly have no idea what the stats are on this sort of thing. How many people over the years have been in these programs that have turned around? I'd also like to know what the stats are just on average joes that enter these programs.
Was listening to Kevin Karius on 1260 at lunch and he was speaking to the Regina Pats play by play guy who knew Rick quite well. He alluded to an incident when Rick was 20, and upon further reading it was his girlfiend killed in a car accident, that he was never the same afterwards, could never shake it.
Tough summer for the Regina Pats. The Myles Bell accident where a young girl was killed, then Boogard, now Rypien. Very sad.
It's probably already been said, but you can never truely understand just how hellish depression can be unless you've gone through it, and even then there are varying degrees of severity. I went through a deep, dark, brutal depression in my early 20's and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It was an absolute nightmare.
