Close cousin to the Nashville Predators, the Minnesota Wild are a bland, lifeless team that employs a number of alleged hockey players you have never heard of. Nearly everything I've written here comes from memory; I've made maybe three trips to Google and NHL.com for research, yet am still able to be 100% right. With the Wild, though, I am a total loss to name more than 6 or 7 players off the top of my head.
You may say something like "this is because you don't follow the Wild" or "East coast bias" or "Logan Couture is the best 200-foot player in the league" (go away Sharks fans, nobody cares), in which case you may be right. But I have a different theory:
The Wild are/is boring.
Sure, they may have switched to a more aggressive up-tempo style, and I'll take your word for it as I cannot independently confirm this. It's not the play style I am referring to: it's the players. Mikko Koivu is your star center? What, did Yanic Perreault and Paul Stastny call in sick? Your second and third lines are a toss-up between Matt Cullen and Kyle Brodziak. Really? You mean to tell me that someone is in competition with Matt ****ing Cullen for a second line center spot and they haven't outright won it? The most dynamic goal scorer (a contest won by default) on this roster is Dany Heatley. I am falling asleep just typing this paragraph. Pierre-Marc...no, I am not finishing writing this.
Anyhow, in goal they are anchored by the tandem of Niklas Backstrom and who really cares. Backstrom is most notable for leeching points of Ovechkin and Semin. He then decided to play goalie in front of a boring trap system and posted nice stats, garnering him lavish praise as the most underrated goalie in the league to never be talked about ever, except during the tri-weekly discussions of the most underrated players in the league in every publication and media outlet. Then the Wild switched to a more offensive system and Backstrom's stats fell.off.the.****ing.map. Much like when the Capitals switched to a more defensive system and Backstrom's stats fell.off.the.****ing.map. So basically Backstrom has managed to be the most overrated goalie and center in the league at the same time, meaning he's almost as overrated as every single player on every single Canadian team. (YES I AM AWARE THAT THEY ARE ACTUALLY TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE).
On defense, the Wild kind of blew last year and traded Brent Burns, so you'd think they'd be worse. But you'd be wrong. In buying out Cam "He scored a bunch of powerplay points three seasons ago, therefore he's a good defenseman" Barker, the Wild have made perhaps the best addition-by-subtraction move in the history of everything.
Still, the battle for 8th seed will come down to the wire between the Wild and the Predators. Regretfully, someone has to win.